MISSION LOG: REGION MOON BLACK 2
Date: Unknown. My watch stopped working around the time I saw a cat that looked like a wrestler.
Location: Aspertia City, Unova Sector (Heavily Modified)
I didn't want to come back to Unova. Too many moving parts, too much noise. But Headquarters sent me to investigate this "Moon Black 2" anomaly. They said it was the same old story, just with new wildlife. I packed my Flashcart and my reading glasses. I should have packed a headache pill.
THE ECOLOGY: DIGIMON OR POKEMON?
The intel claimed this region hosts species from Generations 1 through 7. I stepped into the tall grass expecting a Pidgey. Instead, I was attacked by some sort of floating keychain and a bird that shoots rocks from its beak. Too many modern features ruined the vibe.
I saw creatures called "Ultra Beasts". They don't look like animals; they look like abstract art that went wrong. Back in my day, a Pokemon looked like a dragon or a turtle. Now we have electrical wiring coming to life? I refuse to catch them. My team consists of a Growlithe and a Magnemite, and we are doing just fine, thank you very much.
THE PHENOMENA: "MEGA" NONSENSE
The locals keep babbling about stones that make your Pokemon change shape mid-battle. What is a 'Mega' evolution? Sounds broken. I tried to ignore it, but the Gym Leaders use it. It feels like a cheap tactic. Whatever happened to winning because you trained harder? Now you just press a button and your Pokemon turns into a spiky mess with higher stats. I miss the days when a Hyper Potion was the biggest strategic twist in a battle.
THE TECH: CHEATS AND ANOMALIES
The mission briefing mentioned "Cheats". I found traces of reality-bending codes scattered around—ways to walk through walls or generate infinite Master Balls. The radio chatter (Field Recon) was completely garbled ([object Object]), so I had to rely on my gut. While I appreciate the option to speed things up—feels just like 1999 (but faster)—using codes to bypass the grind is for the weak. I grinded my levels on Audinos like a man.
THE LANDSCAPE
I will admit, the Unova engine is smooth. The sprites are animated, which makes me dizzy, but the Running Shoes work indoors. That is the one modern convenience I will accept. However, seeing Alolan forms—tropical palm trees in a temperate city—is jarring. It breaks the immersion. It's a mishmash of climates and styles that doesn't sit right with a veteran explorer.
FIELD NOTE: If you see a Rattata with a mustache, do not approach. It is not a glitch; it is 'Alolan'. I miss the purple ones.
CONCLUSION
This expedition left me tired. The story is the standard Black 2 affair—Team Plasma, world domination, the usual Tuesday. But the inclusion of these new-fangled creatures makes it feel cluttered. I was looking for no gimmicks, just good Pokemon, but I found a zoo of oddities instead.
