LOG START: 400% SPEED RUN
Yo Archives, it's ya boy Glitch City Kid. I just drifted through the Johto region at speeds that shouldn't be legal in a 32-bit engine. I came here looking for the jank. I was promised a "Redux". Usually, that means "we added so many scripts the ROM screams when you boot it".
But this? This was... suspicious. 🤨
THE VISUAL ANOMALIES
Okay, so the first thing I noticed while mashing the A button is that the local fauna is moving. Like, moving moving. They ported those wiggly Black & White sprites into a FireRed engine. Seeing a Totodile do a little dance while I'm trying to speedrun is a vibe.
Also, the world keeps changing colors? One minute it's pink, next it's orange. Apparently, this region has "Seasons". At my play speed, it looked like a strobe light disco. This game is absolutely unhinged 💀 purely for the seizure risk at high velocity.
DATA CORRUPTION DETECTED
WARNING: Intercepted comms came in as [object Object]. That's the good stuff. Pure missing data. I assume the other travelers got erased by a Bad Egg.
I tried to find the glitches. I really did. I walked into walls. I used Teleport in weird spots. But the "Arnie" entity who built this place patched the holes. It's polished. Ugh. 🙄 Where are the swearing sailors? Where is the text overflowing into the RAM? It's just... a really solid Gen 2 remake with Gen 4 moves.
COMBAT & SURVIVAL
The locals are packing heat. They've got the Physical/Special split tech, which means my over-leveled Feraligatr couldn't just surf on everything with zero brain cells. And the "Fairy Type" infestation has spread here. I tried to Dragon Claw a Jigglypuff and it just laughed at me. Disrespectful.
The "Bug-Catching Contest" is actually functional, which is a massive disappointment. I was hoping to catch a glitch that corrupts my save file, but I just got a Scyther. Boring.
THE VERDICT
Look, if you like "good games" that "function correctly" and have "quality of life features" like reusable TMs (infinite money glitch who?), you'll love this. It's clean. Too clean. I didn't even need to use walk-through-walls cheats to fix a softlock.
Don't play this seriously. Just don't. Crank that emulator speed up to max, watch the seasons flash by like a time-lapse of a rotting fruit, and enjoy the wiggly sprites. It's a vibe, even if it lacks the chaotic energy of Snakewood.
