LOG ENTRY: REGION 'CHAMPIONS'
I loaded this expedition onto my trusty Flashcart, hoping for a nice, quiet stroll through a revitalized Hoenn. HQ told me it was a 'Pokemon Emerald' base. I thought, 'Good. Good bones.' I strapped on my Running Shoes—which, thank the stars, work indoors these days—and stepped out of the moving truck.
But something ain't right here.
THE LOCAL WILDLIFE: ANOMALIES DETECTED
I've been capturing pocket monsters since 1996. I know a Pidgey from a Spearow. But the creatures inhabiting this 'Champions' region? They ain't right. The intel mentioned 'New Fakemon', and my heart sank faster than a Magikarp using Splash.
I encountered entities that looked like they belonged in that digital monster show my grandson watches. Too many modern features ruined the vibe. I want to catch a Rattata, not a floating geometric shape with eyes! Back in my day, animals looked like animals. These things look like they were designed by a committee of robots.
FIELD NOTE: If you see a creature you don't recognize, don't try to feed it a berry. Run. It's likely a 'Fakemon' anomaly. Unnatural.
THE VISUALS: A MIXED BAG
Now, I will give credit where credit is due—and it pains me to do so. The landscape itself isn't terrible. The sprite work is faithful to Gen 3 style regarding the trees and the buildings. It has that 'fresh coat of paint' look I appreciate, without trying to be 3D or whatever the kids are playing on their Switches these days.
However, the clash between these decent tiles and the bizarre, unholy creatures roaming the tall grass is jarring. It breaks the immersion. I'm trying to relive the glory days, not beta-test a genetic experiment.
THE STABILITY: BETA BLUES
The dossier says 'Beta 8'. In my time, we didn't play 'Betas'. We played the finished cartridge, and if it had bugs (like MissingNo), we called them features! This expedition feels shaky. The structure is there—it's Emerald under the hood—but the modifications feel slapped on.
No gimmicks, just good Pokemon. That's all I asked for. Instead, I got a region filled with imposters. I trekked through a few routes, beat a few trainers, but the soul isn't there. It feels like a fever dream of Hoenn rather than a proper revisit.
FINAL THOUGHTS
I packed up my camping gear early. Between the Fakemon looking like Digimon rejects and the 'Beta' status leaving things feeling unfinished, this isn't the Vanilla+ retirement home I was looking for. I'm going back to Kanto. At least there, I know what a Geodude is.
