CRASH LANDING IN... ZEBES?
I blew into the cartridge slot, popped my Flashcart into the GameBoy, and prepared for a nice, relaxing stroll through Route 1. I wanted to catch a Pidgey. Instead, I woke up in a power suit surrounded by space pirates. This isn't Pallet Town. The atmosphere is thick, dark, and oppressive. It feels just like 1999 (but faster), specifically like when I played Metroid on the SNES, but that's not what I signed up for! I want Gym Badges, not Chozo Statues.
THE LOCAL WILDLIFE (OR LACK THEREOF)
I spent three hours looking for a Rattata. Do you know what I found? A floating jellyfish with teeth. The creator has replaced all our beloved 151 pocket monsters with alien biological weapons. I hate Fakemon that look like Digimon, and these things are even worse—they don't even evolve, they just mutate. I tried to command a 'Zoomer' to use Tackle, and it just crawled on the ceiling.
FIELD NOTE: Do not attempt to surf on the lava. My 'Charizard' (which is actually a Ridley clone) did not appreciate it.
VISUALS AND TECHNOLOGY
I have to admit, the engine holds up. The scanlines on my screen look crisp against the dark alien backdrops. The sprite work is faithful to Gen 3 style. It borrows heavily from Metroid: Zero Mission, which is acceptable since it's from the good old days. The music is all bleeps and bloops—proper chiptune stuff, not that orchestral nonsense they put in the new games.
COMBAT PROTOCOLS
The battles are still turn-based, thank goodness. I was worried I'd have to aim. But the type chart feels all wrong. It's confusing. I tried to explain type match-ups to a Space Pirate, but he just shot me. What is a 'Mega' evolution? Sounds broken. Thankfully, I didn't see any of that here, just good old-fashioned laser beams.
FINAL LOG ENTRY
It's a solid adventure if you like wearing tin cans and shooting aliens. The craftsmanship is there. But for an old trainer like me? It's too foreign. I wanted no gimmicks, just good Pokemon. This is all gimmick. High-quality gimmick, but gimmick nonetheless.
